The Diagnostic — Illumine Ads

The Private Session

The single session that tells you
what's actually broken in your paid growth.

Sixty minutes, one-on-one, screen-shared with your actual ad accounts. A written diagnosis you can act on immediately, and an execution dossier that outlives the call.

Apply for a Session — £800 Response within 2 business days

Includes the Complete Resource Vault · Competitor Intelligence Dossier · Execution Dossier

Set Expectations

What this session actually is —
and what it deliberately isn't.

Diagnostic sessions get sold loosely. This one doesn't. Here is exactly what you're booking, stated plainly, so there's no ambiguity by minute ten.

◆  This is —

  • →A live, screen-shared review of your actual Meta and Google ad accounts — not a template with your logo swapped in
  • →A single, defensible diagnosis of the one constraint limiting your growth right now
  • →A written Execution Dossier delivered within two business days, built to be handed to your team and executed from directly
  • →A one-time engagement — no retainer pitch, no upsell call disguised as a diagnostic

◇  This is not —

  • ✕A sales call for a bigger monthly retainer
  • ✕A generic audit template repurposed across every client
  • ✕Account management, campaign execution, or hands-on implementation
  • ✕A guarantee of a specific ROAS figure or revenue outcome

What You're Booking

A three-touchpoint engagement, not a call.

Most of what makes this valuable happens before and after the sixty minutes you're on camera for. Here's the full arc.

The Approach

Four principles behind every diagnosis.

Not a checklist. A way of reading an account that consistently finds the constraint other reviews miss.

I

Reading Data as Symptoms

ROAS, CPL, CTR — most founders read these as outcomes. I read them as symptoms. Every underperforming account carries a pattern, and the diagnostic exists to surface it before you spend more trying to outrun it. The numbers tell you something is wrong; they rarely tell you what, on their own.

II

Consumer Psychology as Lever

Performance data tells you what is happening. Consumer psychology explains why. Whether your creative stops the scroll, whether your offer triggers action, whether your funnel removes hesitation or deepens it — this is where the real constraint almost always lives, and where most technical audits stop looking.

III

The Single Primary Constraint

Most accounts have one primary constraint, not five. Fix the wrong thing first and you scale the problem instead of solving it. The diagnostic identifies the single highest-leverage intervention — and just as importantly, the order everything else should follow after it.

IV

Clarity You Can Execute From

Not observations. Not a strategy deck full of possibilities. A prioritised, sequenced action plan delivered in writing, built so your team can execute directly from it — no interpretation required, no follow-up call needed to decode what was meant.

The Evidence

The numbers, without the marketing.

Drawn directly from live ad accounts — client identifiers removed, figures generalised to protect commercial confidence. Every number is real, and every number was produced under management. Full verification is available during the session itself, under mutual NDA.

8×+ Peak Purchase ROAS
D2C e-commerce
13,000+ Purchases driven
across campaigns managed
£0.01 Lowest cost per
landing page view
£100k+ Ad spend
managed to date

Selected campaign performance, anonymised

Drawn from live ad accounts across multiple D2C engagements. Campaign identifiers, client names, and exact spend figures have been rounded and generalised. Performance figures are reported as they appeared in-platform.

Campaign Type Spend Range Primary Result Platform Reported
D2C e-commerce · purchase£9,000 – £9,500Purchase ROAS15.30×
D2C e-commerce · purchase£5,500 – £6,000Purchase ROAS8.86×
D2C e-commerce · purchase£5,000 – £5,500Purchase ROAS4.97×
D2C e-commerce · purchase£5,500 – £6,500Purchase ROAS4.75×
D2C e-commerce · purchase£1,500 – £2,000Purchase ROAS3.58×
D2C e-commerce · purchase£1,000 – £1,500Cost per purchase£0.53
D2C e-commerce · purchase£800 – £1,000Cost per purchase£0.61
Lead generation · cold prospecting£600 – £700Cost per lead£0.07
Lead generation · cold prospecting£450 – £550Cost per lead£0.08
D2C traffic · landing page views£5,500 – £6,000Cost per LPV£0.02
D2C creative · CTR-optimised£400 – £500Link CTR7.21%
D2C creative · CTR-optimised£400 – £500Link CTR5.86%
◆ A note on transparency. These figures are generalised to protect client confidentiality. Full verification — including live ads manager views, unredacted campaign data, and attribution methodology — is available during the private diagnostic session under mutual NDA. Platform-reported figures reflect Meta's own attribution model; true blended MER may differ. Treat every figure as a ceiling, not a promise.

One Result, Told Properly

From 2–3× to 8×, inside one quarter.

A niche skincare brand came in already running paid media — spend was live, campaigns were structured, and Purchase ROAS was sitting somewhere between 2× and 3×, inconsistent week to week. Nothing was obviously broken. That was the problem: nothing was obviously anything.

The diagnostic surfaced a single constraint hiding underneath a dozen smaller ones — a creative-to-offer mismatch that no amount of audience or bidding optimisation could fix, because the ads were solving the wrong psychological objection at the wrong stage of the funnel.

Within the quarter following the session, Purchase ROAS on the account reached 8×. Not from a bigger budget. From one correctly diagnosed constraint, fixed in the right order.

Client identity withheld per confidentiality agreement. Figures verified from the account's own ad platform reporting. Individual results vary by account, category, and starting conditions — this is one documented outcome, not a projection.

The Investment

What £800 actually includes.

Every component below is delivered as part of a single booking — none of it is upsold separately, and none of it is optional padding. Here's the full breakdown.

  • Pre-Session Intelligence Brief You complete a confidential, structured brief — spend, channels, current performance, creative library, funnel, and known bottlenecks. Reviewed in advance, alongside your public assets and competitor landscape.
  • Live Diagnostic — 60 Minutes, One-on-One A structured interrogation of your paid growth system across every channel you run — campaign architecture, creative strategy, audience logic, funnel behaviour.
  • The Execution Dossier Delivered within two business days — a prioritised action plan, daily metrics checklist, corrective playbook, and the reasoning behind every recommendation, preserved for your team.
  • Competitor Intelligence Dossier A private brief on your top 3 competitors — active creatives, messaging angles, offer structure, funnel approach — built entirely from publicly available information.
  • The Complete Resource Vault — Included Free All thirteen paid resources in the Vault, worth £515 individually, delivered immediately on booking.
  • 30-Day Follow-Up Check-In A brief written check-in thirty days after the session — what's been implemented, what's working, what to adjust.

The Honest Maths

The Live Diagnostic (60 min, one-on-one)
At a specialist's hourly consulting rate
£500
The Execution Dossier
Comparable to a standalone agency account audit
£950
Competitor Intelligence Dossier
Comparable to a standalone competitor teardown service
£450
The Complete Resource Vault
Thirteen paid resources, individual list price
£515
Three AI Playbooks — Claude × Paid Growth
Session-exclusive, not sold publicly
£260
30-Day Follow-Up Check-In
Standalone written consulting review
£150
Total Value £2,825
Your Investment £800

This isn't a discount. It's the cost of one coherent diagnosis, priced honestly.

At £10k/month in spend, a 15% ROAS improvement returns £1,500 every month — and it compounds.

The session recovers its cost within a week.
The Diagnostic
£800
A single session · 60 minutes · Private
Request Your Session → Takes only 3 minutes

By application · Europe & Dubai · Online

Included at no extra cost

The Complete Resource Vault — £250 value

Every paid resource in the Vault. Thirteen documents, over 290 pages of frameworks, benchmarks, and templates. Delivered immediately on session booking.

Also included

Competitor Intelligence Dossier

A private brief on your top 3 competitors — prepared before your session.

Exclusive to the session

Three AI Playbooks — Claude × Paid Growth

A private set of practical playbooks on integrating Claude into the modern paid growth stack — covering Meta workflows, social media engagement, and AI agents for LinkedIn and Instagram. Available only with the diagnostic session, not sold publicly.

Already invested in the Vault?

£100 credited toward your session

Prior Vault purchasers pay £700 for the session — your Vault investment is partially credited against the booking, provided the session is booked within 3 months of Vault purchase.

◆ Your protection

The No-Risk Guarantee

If by minute 60 you don't believe the work has been worth £800, say so before we end the call and I'll refund you in full. You keep the Complete Resource Vault you received on booking. No questions, no defence required.

Qualification

The session is deliberately narrow.

Built for a specific kind of founder. If that isn't you, the Vault is the right starting point instead.

◆  This is for you if —

  • →You spend £5k–£50k+ monthly on paid media (Meta, Google, TikTok, or Snapchat)
  • →Performance has plateaued, become inconsistent, or is no longer predictable
  • →You are uncertain what to address first before scaling further
  • →You want a rigorous second opinion before committing additional budget
  • →You are about to engage an agency and want clarity on what to demand
  • →You've read the frameworks in the Vault and want them applied directly to your account

◇  This is not for you if —

  • ✕You have not yet begun running paid campaigns
  • ✕You are looking for account management rather than diagnosis
  • ✕You want generic tactics, templates, or tips
  • ✕You want validation of existing decisions, not honest assessment
  • ✕Your monthly spend is below £5k or above £50k without an agreed exception

Operational Questions

Practical things worth knowing.

Specific operational questions about the call, the timing, and the deliverables.

Why £800, specifically?
Because the components inside it — the diagnostic itself, the Execution Dossier, the Competitor Dossier, the Vault, the session-exclusive Claude Playbooks, and the follow-up — each have a defensible standalone market price, and they add up to roughly £2,825 if bought separately. £800 isn't a discount gimmick; it's what one coherent, properly-prepared diagnosis costs to deliver honestly.
What if my account turns out to be fine?
Then you leave with written confirmation of that, and one or two smaller optimisations worth making — which is still useful information, and still covered by the No-Risk Guarantee if you disagree with that assessment by minute 60.
Can I bring my agency or media buyer onto the call?
Yes. Many founders do, specifically so the diagnosis and the Execution Dossier can be handed directly to the team responsible for implementing it, without a translation step in between.
Why only five sessions a month?
Because the preparation before each session — reviewing your account, building the competitor dossier, reading your questionnaire in depth — takes real time, and that depth is the point. Five is the number that keeps every session properly prepared rather than rushed.
What happens if I need to reschedule?
One rescheduling is available within 15 days of your original booking, provided you give at least 48 hours' notice. Full details are in the Terms & Conditions.
Is the session recorded?
No — by design. The Execution Dossier you receive afterward serves as the complete written record of everything discussed and recommended, which tends to be more useful than a recording you'd need to rewatch.
I've already bought the Vault. Does that change anything?
Yes — you're credited £100 against the session fee (£700 instead of £800), provided you book within 3 months of your Vault purchase. Mention your Vault purchase when you apply.
What platforms do you work across?
Meta, Google, TikTok, and Snapchat. If your spend is concentrated on a platform outside this list, mention it in your application and we'll confirm fit before booking.

One session.
One honest diagnosis.
Nothing left to guess at.

The diagnosis in full. An Execution Dossier within two business days. The Vault, the Competitor Dossier, and the Claude Playbooks — all included.

Apply for a Session — £800 Response within 2 business days

By Application  ·  5 Sessions a Month  ·  Europe & Dubai